Walk In Their Shoes To Create Better Relationships And Teams

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Walk In Their Shoes To Create Better Relationships And Teams

If you have seen ‘50 Shades of Grey’, it is a great example of understanding how different events shape our life and behaviors.

Now on to the story. 

I read the book 3 Laws of Performance several years ago. It is a great lesson on situational leadership, connecting to your team, and breaking personal and professional barriers. The stories in the book are eye opening and amazing! While the book has several other key messages that are important, the motivation for this article is understanding perspective and how you can create better relationships and teams through 'Walking In Their Shoes'.

Mastering customer service, among other areas in life, requires understanding the psychology of people. It is truly caring about what drives behavior for your customers, employees, peers, and others. It is not Rocket Science that being authentic and creating a personal relationship is what people desire. It is also learning the subconscious, the unknown, and the events that shape how we live our lives. It is learning and connecting to perspectives.

I continue to use this approach in both professional and personal relationships. On a personal note, I can think of several events that have shaped who I am today. There is not one specific event that sticks out, which is probably true to most of you. It is how you approach the events with yourself and others that can make a difference in performance. 

In the next post, I will share a personal story about how I used perspective training to improve the performance and relationship with my team.

I would love to hear your story. 

  • Have you ever thought of perspective training within your organization?
  • Do you take the time to authentically connect to your team, customers, and friends to relate?
  • Have you had any breakthroughs from asking the right questions to understand the ‘root cause’ of someone’s behavior?

If you have not tried to truly understand the perspective of others before making a judgement, gossiping, or other getting upset, give it a try! I bet you will have a new perspective and a happier moment.

Yours Truly,

The Pukka Panda


5 Tips to Shine...#3 Be Positive: Show your glow from the inside out

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One of my peers at work told me that I have the ability to light up any room. The light comes from the inside and shines through confidence, being genuine and caring, and staying positive with a smile.

We all have heard the phrase - beauty is skin deep, it’s who you are on the inside that truly matters. Here are some tips to save valuable time and money, while you let your inner beauty shine.

Be Positive: Show your glow from the inside out

Start your day with a smile. If you need a kick to get you going, turn on your favorite music. Smiling is contagious so spread the love with others throughout your day. Practice smiling with your eyes, your true smile, "Duchenne smile" or "smizing".

Here is how you Smile With Your Eyes.

Learn the triggers to your authentic smile. 

Smile Trigger Alert: Hilarious Greeting Cards

I have a stack of funny greeting cards in my desk that make me laugh every time I read them! It is amazing how a good laugh can improve your perspective.

The brand is ‘Frank and Funny’

One of my favorites is...

Inside: “Unless you have diarrhea”

Yea, that wasn’t the right joke to pull out in front of kids. On the other hand, try saying the word ‘poop’ when taking pictures of kids. It works really well.

I literally bought almost all of the cards to save for the perfect time and person. You need to be a bit careful on the distribution of them... Check them out and tell me you wouldn't laugh so hard by reading most of them. 

Another way is to simply think of a great moment with friends or family. The mind is pretty powerful for staying positive and healthy. Mind over matter!

Yours Truly

ThePukkaPanda

We All Want It Simple - Is It At Your Expense Or Theirs?

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Simple: At Your Expense or Theirs?

Overheard in the airport on my way to California for a business trip.

"Why do you always pick on me?"

"Because it's easy."

As someone people like to tease, the response to this questions was familiar to me. Of course, it is also typical for many situations in life.

If you know me personally, you may be smiling or nodding in agreement.

In the past, teasing sometimes bothered me. Now, I realize it is either a form of flattery or just not about me.

We aim to make it simple for the user in products, business writing, customer experience and many other things. We want it simple for people to read, customers to purchase, manage, and even return. Repeat customers are the easiest to keep. Let’s make it simple for them, even if when it is more difficult for us!

It is often the opposite when choosing your path in life. If it is simple, it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. It's not always simple to try something new or take the high road. When you choose the simple path, consider the impact to everyone - for both the present and future.

Yours Truly,

THEPUKKAPANDA

Being Vulnerable Can Be A Challenge - Embrace The Challenge

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Challenge Yourself To Be Yourself

“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,” “Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.”
— Brene Brown: Daring Greatly

It was a challenge for me to ‘Dare Greatly’ and start this blog. I was afraid of putting myself out there for the world to see. After months of following other blogs and comparing myself, it was even harder to take the leap. I am not as skinny as the other style bloggers; however, that is not the focus and message. The content includes positive inspiration, authentic business, and customer experience - with my personal style on the side. At the same time, it was a learning experience and discovery process that was necessary. Being myself is the only thing I know. Sharing with the world differs from my comfort with vulnerability in business, among friends, or other small groups of people. Looking forward to sharing this challenge with you. Continue to learn, grow, and challenge yourself to be yourself!

Brene Brown’s book ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead’ was a great source to learn about the power of vulnerability. Woohoo! A simple win for me to live, love, and lead. Vulnerability comes natural to me - it makes sense. Perhaps it goes along with the inability to keep a poker face. Or that you are the best at being yourself.

Why not call out your known weaknesses or share an embarrassing story, like the time you walked into a screen door at your own house or your skirt blows up in the middle of a busy NYC street. Connecting at a personal level is critical for trust. Vulnerability and trust among family and friends comes natural to most of us. They have seen us at our best and worst. We have each others shoulders for times we need to cry or need a hug.

Extending that vulnerability into business situations is not always so simple. If this is not natural to you, try it. Take the challenge. Even though you are not likely to cry on their shoulder, you can speak open and honestly about your opinions. Genuinely praise colleagues for work well done or admit to weaknesses so you have the opportunity to learn. When you establish trust with your team and organization, it benefits customers and all areas of the business. Hidden agendas and lack of transparency harms the culture and ultimately hits your bottom line. Embrace vulnerability to truly connect with people.

What are your thoughts on being vulnerable? 

To learn more about shame and vulnerability, read Brene Brown’s book or watch her popular TED Talk.

Yours Truly

THEPUKKAPANDA

Follow @thepukkapanda on Instagram for updates

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Improve Your Day Through Interactions With Strangers

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Talk To Strangers

I was born and raised in the Midwest, actually the safest small town in Ohio according to Movoto - and at top of most other lists. Needless to say, I didn’t worry about talking to strangers, even at a young age. It wasn't necessary in my circumstances.

My first experience in NYC was December of 2010 for due diligence regarding the acquisition between Geckotech and M5 Networks. (See About Page for LinkedIn Profile). I was not excited about  experience that visit - even though I had an amazing upgrade at the Trump Soho that was bigger than my Chicago apartment. (I had two bathrooms, a few TVs, and an amazing view of the Hudson river.)

Over the next few years, my role change required me to travel between Chicago and NYC weekly. Often, I felt alone in hotels. I didn’t understand why people didn’t actively engage in conversation like I was accustomed to in the Midwest. When strangers did talk to me, they were typically from out of town or the Midwest.

Most of us have heard the ‘view’ of NYC. Not having ever been to NYC, it was all I knew. On the other hand, I also make a conscious decision to refrain from judgement in personal interactions and experiences - so why would I not stick to this perspective for a new city.

Fast forward two years, I moved to NYC to the wonderful community of Hell’s Kitchen. I was fortunate to get the cutest studio across from a community garden thanks to a coworker that was moving - bonus that there was no agent fee! At this time, I had grown a complete different feeling for the city. I understood the people and the city. I learned to love NYC.

My interaction with strangers changed my view of NYC

Once I allowed myself to have an open mind, I realized the stereotype of NYC was incorrect. While most people seem to be in a rush with minimal time to chit-chat like the Midwest or South, it does not make the human instinct to love and care different than any other geographic area. Most of NYC area residents live in small apartments with constant crowds on the train, coffee shops, and pretty much every place else. People need space - but they also need social interaction!

I was now immersed in the city. I walked to work everyday from Hell’s Kitchen to Midtown. Often, on my walk, several strangers complimented me - with a kind sense of authenticity. On those days, I had a strange sense of happiness. There was a great feeling of this genuine interaction.

My Smile Test

Being from the Midwest and hearing frequently of the NYC stereotype. I had an idea - test the stranger smile response. While on my way to the office, I smiled at every person I passed. My goal was to determine the percentage of those that would return the smile.

I call it a success. While I stopped after 9th Ave due to the amount of people, I counted 60%. If all made eye contact, I am confident it would have been at least 80%. 

My Conclusion

People are authentic and genuine when you have an open mind and allow them into your life. Your smile or compliment can make a difference in someone’s day. Try it tomorrow on your subway ride!

Thoughts by Randa related to reference articles

Steffan’s Personality Blog  shows the stereotypes across geographic areas.

My thoughts: Do we conform to the stereotypes that are given to us by society? I suggest we challenge all types of stereotypes - Everyone and every place deserves an authentic interaction - without previous judgement.

How Talking to Strangers Makes us Happier

““Interacting with a stranger ... can provide this unexpected source of boost to our mood,” she said. “People don’t seem to recognize this benefit they get from interacting with a stranger as a result of just being their most-pleasant, cheerful self.””
— Huffington Post

My thoughts: We want to be social. Why do we choose our smartphones vs real engagement with a person?

“We’ve been told since our playground days not to talk to strangers, but avoiding those everyday interactions may be slightly hurting us when it comes to our happiness as adults.”
— Huffington Post

My thoughts: We tell kids not to talk to strangers. Is it because they are still authentic and vulnerable to desire social interaction with everyone? Of course the real reason is for safety.


Additional References

These Psychologists Think We'd Be Happier If We Talked to Strangers More

 

Talking to Strangers Makes You Happier

What are your thoughts?

Yours Truly

ThePukkaPanda

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Pollyanna Promotes The 'Glad Game' - Power of Positive

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I remember a time at work when I was told I was the happiest and most positive person, which I accept as a compliment. As this was shared during a team dinner, I told the story of Pollyanna and her use of 'The Glad Game’ to influence an entire community. One of my favorites from childhood, I was shocked that not one person in the group had seen the movie.

Not only had they not seen it, one colleague informed me that being a ‘Pollyanna’ is viewed negatively. What? I was in even more shock! Or perhaps I heard it and did not believe it based on my interpretation of the character.

What is the a desire behind over analyzing a character to find a flaw? Let's encourage people to look for the good. I will have a section of my blog, “Gladly Green” to keep the spirit of the glad game alive. 

Positive perspective and optimism do not require a complete disconnection from reality - as some articles comment. Maintain a positive approach to a project at work while also understanding the details to drive and collaborate the team(s) to success.

In honor of 'Pollyanna', I created my version of the 'Pollyanna Look' today - with a quirky twist.

““Nothing is further from the truth. Turns out, Pollyanna was right! The positive power of gratitude has been overwhelmingly proven by science. People who are consciously grateful are more energetic, more determined, think more clearly, think more methodically, make more progress towards goals, have more resilience during tough times, and are more optimistic, enthusiastic, and joyful. As if that wasn’t enough proof, the grateful are have fewer illnesses, greater immune response, and even exercise more.””
— selfgrowth.com
“We’re living in a moment of total happiness obsession, in other words, and Pollyanna is our perfect mascot. Her “glad game” goes beyond simple positive thinking. Pollyanna isn’t always cheerful; she cries over disappointments large and small, and initially refuses to play the game when she suffers a major tragedy. It’s not that she’s naturally the world’s greatest optimist; rather, optimism is a tool she uses to make herself happy. Her gladness is Gladwellian: It’s not a state of mind, but rather a skill that becomes stronger with practice. As the freckled little guru herself put it, “When you’re hunting for the glad things, you sort of forget the other kind.” Welcome to the 21st century, Pollyanna. You’ll fit right in.”
— The Atlantic

In Seth Godin's post, he compares Cassandra and Pollyanna. I would rather be the Pollyanna. An optimistic view can influence positive interactions and teamwork  - it doesn’t always indicate everything is fine.

To form your own opinion on the 'Pollyanna Principle', watch the movie for yourself. 

What do you think?

Yours Truly

THEPUKKAPANDA